I’m at my nannying job. I’m really lucky to have a job that is not so bad. Hey, I can write blogs in between activities! That’s pretty sweet…but it’s easy to take it for granted.
Problem is, I’ve lost my inspiration. This week I work 12 hours a day and there isn’t a pocket of time to kick off the new year with all of my NY’s resolutions (ie writing new songs, going back to dance class, making comedic videos, trying a creative writing course, recording more material with my producer, you know making my dreams come true).
I haven’t been feeling my best. I’m out of shape, I’ve haven’t been eating great and I know that is a factor of my feeling low…I’m also resistant to what I know makes me feel good so it’s a vicious little cycle that I have full control of changing…but can’t seem to make the commitment.
Before writing this blog I’ve been scouring the internet for entertainment while Xander watches movie reviews (I love that he watches those). Then I realized, I kept choosing facebook and losing myself in how fulfilled my “friends” lives are going by their pictures and how many people comment on them. Also obsessing on how they’re much better people than I’ll ever be…well, that’s ridiculous.
Today there was a moment of fulfillment. Xander (the 10 year old I nanny for) wanted me to make a costume of a “creeper” character from Minecraft. We went down to the mailing shop down the street and bought a cardboard box to construct the head. This “creeper” looks a lot like a green pixilated robot. So we bought the box, traced the face, taped up the face as to cover that section from when we finally spray painted the box green. After that dried, I removed the taped pieces and colored the mouth in with black sharpie and cut out the square shaped eyes with a box cutter. In this process, it felt good to create something…it felt good to get my hands dirty. It was very therapeutic.
I don’t know where I’m going with this but what I can take away is that there’s something dormant that creation seems to awaken. I hate to go on about how I “used” to be…but for too long now, I’ve become a little too complacent. Hell, even writing this steers me into the right direction.
Starting tomorrow, I will be doing my annual 7 songs in 7 days challenge. It’s where I’m forced to hold myself accountable each day for finishing a song a day…even if it’s a horrible song…It’s gotta be done!
Thanks for letting me share. Hope you all find some time to create.
